berlin

heres a picture of the thing i painting in the previously mentioned shut up.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/42957317@N05/5110985279/

lifes ill. i mean, like, im in berlin. nudging the end of my stay, (this is just setting up some little scenario im not actually in berlin). everythings a little too i gotta leave, but everythings also a little too ill miss this bitch. so its eds last night in europe, and mine in berlin, i saw a fox and chased where i thought he was until i was certain he'd vanished. the next day indra and i go to the train station to leave to dijon, turns out theres a massive strike in france and we cant make it because no trains run except to paris.

so i progress onto the sequel of my last day in berlin, doin stuff whatever, turns out i ran out of money at some point and cant catch a train anywheres, so i borrowed some cash of indra to get a flight to barcelona for the next night and thus spawning a third installation of finishing berlin.

its starting to feel like im the man in black from lost and all of the variables in determinism amalgamate together to create jacob.

onward to killing time to finish my stay, in a really i wanna get outta here mood, despite enjoying berlin i felt quite finished. that night there was some pre-halloween dress up party for alexs work at a bar, so turned up to that in my brown suit and a 50 centimetre high glasses that have hills and castles and dragons and a creeper that i whipped up in a coupla minutes. had all these tough mid teen turkish guys break their cool act to get in photos with me, and a midget getting a stranger to take a photo of me and her. the mask is kinda ruined now.

the party was a party, i mean gleh, popped over to that studio that the dude from brooklyn works at to say goodbye and turns out they had a party with grace jones there, so i did that whole thing for a few minutes then left back to alexs to get ready to leave. alexs housemate lets me in and gives me some tips on getting to the airport, then some life lessons he has to offer, then some more life lessons i should pass onto ed, dudes just a fathead.

anyway i show up at the airport with my last club mate in my hand to find out that my plane is the next morning, balls. so take 4 berlin final. sleep at the airport for a few hours then go back to a cafe to draw and chat with vasco, met up with alex, watched annie lane with him. got really high then went to a super classy bar to whisky me out of berlin. it was-a really lovely.

killed time at the airport by working on catchin em all till i ran out of juice. caught my plane, slept for 2 hours on it. showed up in barcelona with no way out of the airport because of my lack of money. some guy bought me a ticket and i went home, chatted with a new cousin and chloe and vanessa. im tired.

shit frog

spent most of the week nights at a 80s teen themed movie week at my friends studio, i dont really recall much of the week, nothing too remarkable really... i think we spent a day smoking joints watching seven samurai eating nachos and another night we saw ariel pink's haunted graffiti. im sure there were little amazing parts that we'll both never know. so yesterday i went painting with this girl who works at a cafe i go to to draw (because i have nowhere else in this chill right?) and an italian girl who just finished some 20 by 80 meter wall in poland that im kinda jealous that she got to do even though i dont know her.. i wanna paint a big wall. we went to this big ole abandoned beer factory with a bunch of dudes already in there, climbed around and walked past the big ole cardboard moose thing. they worked together on something while i painted over some dudes bird, this photographer guy climbed out from the shattered glass windows to tell me 'watch out man ive seen this guy in new york' i told him to go away nicely.

after that we killed some time somehow, indra got banned from our regular internet cafe for stealing chocolate. went to a party at my friends studio, you made yr own glasses there. i made some ill show you when i get back blabla. im really quite delirious right now. i got about an hour sleep on the ring bahn (train that just goes in a loop all night) and another hour in a cafe i just left.

we sorta overstayed our welcome at the couch we were on so WE GOT HOMELESS.

indra met some girl who was taking her home until she stacked her bike and cut her face open and went to hospital, so indra met up with me and ed she was pretty drunk and in a poo mood. that douchebag who told me and indra he wanted to fuck us and stole drawings off me walked by and joined us, we were pretty cold to him while he lied through his teeth and mach 9 blinking eyes about some success bullshit. he left pretty soon after. went to the train and fell asleep. ed got his bag stolen, had most of his stuff in it. yeah. went to the market, ed made himself feel better by getting some stuff as i rugged up. i ran into sam gill, sorry for being so underwhelmed kinda..... something else happened then i slept bad on my wrist and cant really use that hand. the end.

i kinda wanna be at home right now, in ultra rut for making stuff, im super tired its like 8pm and i dont wanna voluntarily pay for my first hostel night after like, 4 months of abstaining. and ironically i have the otouto song 'spot' stuck in my head.

curlin

we've been playing a lot of board games, namely risk and pandemic, namely hanna not winning (except in pandemic but that was poorly balanced like super cylons or something). stayed up the other night playing risk missions in german with hanna and chester, not gonna say i didnt win. it got quite late so i decided to crash on a spare bed in their dorm room (which is like an 8 person dorm with just them).

woke up at 10am to banging on my bed and an angry german accent telling me to get up. the furious leather braceletted receptionist was standing there with his posse of staff trying to get me to pay. i woke up and pulled on some clothes after a few minutes of roaring in his face from my top bunk and recieving screams of 'NOBODY SLEEPS FOR FREE IN GERMANY', and went down with them to pay. forgot to get my wallet so they permitted me to collect it but as i walked over to it one of their team grabs me and starts pulling and pushing me and shouting at me with ferocious dog intensity. they all try restrain him and take me downstairs and i pay for my first hostel night ever.

went down and got coffee with ed and sara, ed found a nice jacket that didnt fit him and i kinda bought it to spite him, but i really like it too so its not that bad right? so he was pissed off at me. hung out with v and her housemates for a bit drawing while they watched some reality tv show about guidos. helped a poor dude sell magazines in german for a bit. something else happend, oh we played a 7 and a half hour game of risk at a cafe with me ramming my fist up through my urethra by screwing up initial placements. ed and chester took out hanna and won. walked like 50 minutes back to find sleep through freezing weather and saw an armed robbery at a gas station but obviously tried to get out of there as opposed to hanging around and sussing it out.

most of a day passed, then i saw a silent movie with alex, ed, and hanna. was pretty dope, had one of those old ladies playing pianz. a night passed, went to chester and hannas hostel this morning to pick up my bag which i left there, walked passed a few of the guys that stormed in and packed up. they rocked up to the room like 10 minutes later and said to grab my stuff and wanted to chat. some other intimidating worker walked me out and said 'if i ever see you again i will make you finished, i will finish you' while i just screamed and made turkey garbles to muffle his trash talk.

met up with my aunt and mother (who just got here) and aunt and hung out and had cortados with condensed milk, now im here. bye.

hurlin

so i got to berlin yeah. kinda felt different but ok. met up with elliot and showed him around and stuff. pulled an all nighter just wandering around kreuzberg drawing on walls because i didnt really have anywhere to sleep. i found all these wooden boards and drew free pictures on them and put them around town, they were gone the next day so i guess someone liked them.

messaged v and she said i could stay at her new place which seemed swell. these two guys from brisbane opened the door turned out i met them on the train from paris to berlin and they were old friends of whyte lightning. jordan and rory, grant stayed with them when he went to brisbane. so ive been staying there hanging out with elliot and the kids during the day then ending up there smoking, listening to metal and eating pancakes. went to a big show of 200 hundred artists which was super overwhelming but this girl offered me a spot in her studio which i should take up, really need some space to make some paste ups.

we went to some bar where you get free entry if you look nerdy, i pulled up my pants and claimed gratis entrance, it was kinda just full of horny people. i dont really know what to do in places like that so when all yr ideas fail, take a big dump. so i did that and got invited into the karaoke urinal room, forced to sing vanessa carlton with a bunch of guys doing a really camp rendition so i screamed it in death noises and left. went back to vs with ed and watched youtube videos.

pary

uh ok, so spent lots of time in barcelona with the kids. drama ensued, rough stuff. belle and sebastian played a free show outside the old beer factory which was alright yeah and i dropped my phone 5 floors onto concrete and rescued it, but some crabby old women stole my lighter.

i decided to go to paris for some reason i cant remember. paris is fucked. i trained there, which really made me miss hitchhiking for how bleak and lonely it was, messed up there. once i got to gare de lyon ... the station, i realised i hadnt booked any accomodation. im beginning to feel more and more like ignatius from a confederacy of dunces. caught a train somewhere attractive which turned out to be a tourist clusterfuck and some drunk australians offered to let me sleep on their hostel floor, so i kinda had to put up with a girl my age saying "orlando bloom goes to perth just for the girls, i swear they're all babes". the hostel was like school camp on the same steriods that made macdonalds big although i got heaps of free breakfast out of it.

got a couchsurfer who seemed nice, she was from lebanon and studies film, although it took her hours to ask me a single question. she doesnt seem phased by much.

walked down a street in the innerish city (i dont know how to describe it, paris is so big its stupid, everywhere seems like the innerish city) and got accosted by 4 seperate black guys asking if i want my dreads tidied up, i showed them how content i was by spreading my arms, one of them thought i was initiating a hug so he hugged back. 5 minutes later at the station there was this african guy who waited at the entrance just embracing every african he sees with ridiculous handshakes, that was nice for me. metro tickets are 1 euro 70 which is too much to pay for every time you wanna use it so ive taken to going in the exits and jumping the barriers. its kinda landed me two injuries so far, one time it slammed shut on my head and i was dizzy for the rest of the day and collapsed in the underpass with a bunch of people helping me up. oh and i got a 50 euro fine which they made me pay on the spot with their little porta-card machine.

went to "white night" which is meant to be a night where all gallerys open late and a sort of city wide art festival, most of it was kinda balls but thierry iforgettherestofyrname lit up the whole inside of notre dayum pretty sweet. kinda made me get all introspective on my views on what seems to be purely self indulgent art which im still pretty undecided on bla bla bla aldfbjasdfls.

ok so yeah, on the way back to the couchsurfers some dude started chatting to me, seemed nice, really persistent on giving me his number so i took it then we parted ways. he ran up after me to say something else and then grabbed me and threatened me with a scooter helmet screaming for money, it was pretty funny, i mean a guy about my age and smaller and seeming really unsure of himself. heaps of people walked by and i was just trying to chat to him. turns out our previous conversation was the limit of his english, and i was feeling strangely confident maybe due to the head injury so i tripped him up and sort of walked away quickly. poor dude, the guy who pickpocketed me in berlin was so much cooler, i mean he danced with me and gained proper repore, then stole from me swiftly and skillfully. this dude had no clue what he was doing and didnt even seem sure he wanted to be mugging me.

anyway i got 2 hours sleep that night and got up at 6:30am to catch a train out to berlin, turns out there all booked till 8:30 tonight. so ive been trying to waste time without going to lourve (just dont really want to hey?) since then. slept in the really spacious (almost like handicapped toilet spacious) for an hour and bit till the attendants started screaming monsieur. ive only got 5 hours to waste now. oh and ive been sick since i got here. despite all the set backs im nice ive been always playin, always playin.

floo power

in barcelona with the kids, pretty great.

sette

hey ok, im sitting in a room with chester sara honor and ed. how did i get here? shut up.
so we left berlin. waved off by a dude mocking our laughter singing ¨money money money you´re a primitive girl´and chanting ´no style, no brains, fuck your sister´at us. great guy. at the train station an ólder me´as ed says was singing no woman no cry with his massive yamaha keyboard replacing the chorus with ¨no husband no pain¨.

got some rides from

- monotonous business man number 1 did stuff in cuba
- monotonous business man number 2 forgot his life but we went 280 kms an hour, no joke
- berlin writer berlin fan number 2
- young dude moving circus school with a house he built on the back of his old merc truck
- fully sick french dude
- silent swiss busyman
- super happy moroccan family man

we met two hitchhikers along the way

- forgot his name, turkish-canadian, studies economics, gets life lectures from older turkish men at gas stations questioning why hes living like that.... after they buy us coffees and wish us good luck

- mark, english squatter lives in barcelona, rad guy, likes computers and punk. really good car conversationalist. hes letting us stay in his squat for the next week or so, great place two floors in the middle of the city with a rooftop.

learnt stuff

- french jocks at mcdonalds in service stations like trading cards and mocking people for not being french
- sleeping at service stations is worth it only for the feeling of waking up and seeing families half gawking half protecting their children from your unconcious body at 10 am
- sadly, blastoise isnt actually as good as feraligatr
- real people are really fucked
- pick up hitchhikers when i get a car

since getting to barcelona we met up with the kids (elliot, sara, honor, james harkness, and chester) and went roller discoing and the bar across the road from jems.

yo

hola

spent a few times watching avatar finishing it off with ed. became fire lord. stayed at a different couch surfers, two girls seemed nice but they were ridiculously normal. pretty sure one of them was constantly weirded out by me and also ed by association. they took us to a place called bar 25 which is some stupid hipster club that used to be a squat and has swings over the water where people congregate to appear interesting together. most people i spoke to seemed kinda crap but i wont write off everyone because i dont know them.

spent the rest of the night drawing on wood in a hidden corner and burning it in the big fire, it was nice. now we are renting a room thats pretty good so im probably gonna go paint there. small fry blog bye

airbendin

yesterday i spent all day painting outside an internet cafe. spoke to some people who wanted to watch, some dude fed me club mate cola (best cola ever) if he could sit there and watch me paint. later on we went to some bar where we attracted creeps and douches. some foax anarcho dude kept ripping pages out of my scrap book for inspiration and asked me to do live painting to his band at a squat show. i think im just gonna paint him while he plays and piss on him, he sucks. he said he didnt know who he wanted to fuck more indra or i, i told him his game will have no winners and to go home forever. 

today we went to an abandoned amusement park. my friend ve told us theres usually guards with dogs who bite her friends there, we were sweet. just walking around this desolate place full of graffiti and spiders feels nice, we were all pretty quiet but enjoying ourselves. huge plastic t rexes broken down, and forgotten cars with moustaches and glasses. an old roller coaster going into a mouth of mountain and a swamp logged ferris wheel. there was a noose hanging nearby, poor shit. i had to shit so we left and went to a show opening of my friends. was pretty good mymos stuff was kinda nice, after we went and did some drinking ritual and made a fire in the park. on the way back someone stole my wallet while dancing with me. pickpockets are cool. right now im spending my last coins on this blog post, my pals arent picking up their phone and everyone around is doing their usual lets have fun thing. its a good feeling, its the nice kind of nothing.

chüß

sometimes i think im getting a little frosted myself

i spent all day painting pictures on walls with nutella and al foil, and turning bins into people. julia missed her bus back to poland, its funny, i dont realise how nice it is to be somewhat independant, or at least trusted to be alive if nobody knows where i am. but you probably do because i keep posting shitty blogs that get more and more to the point in the worst way. ive kinda given up on uni application even though ive paid for my interview, although gustav sent me the photos of the mural i did. on the last train back from the bus station we interrupted a german rap video shoot. it was just us and a bunch of guys really silently looking aggressive and cool with their mouths moving kicking the air up and down the carriage, pretty hilarious. i gave them the names of doseone and el-p. 

went to a cafe that supposedly had nice coffee, which is kinda hard to find here. i dont mind that much but ed does, so i guess it made him happy. left the cafe and pretty waitress to go to the studio that ebon is letting me use, he wasnt there so i poorly made conversation with the people working there about finding a paint place or something. kinda wandered around aimlessly for a while after that, semi defeated but sort of expecting it. i ended up finishing a 100 page book im making, and finding out that itll be around 100 euros to print 25 copies, balls. the lady at the store said i couldnt use her scanner at her house. did more stuff, nothing really worth. met up with ed and indra, ed finished building his bike but refused to let me ride it, so i stubbornly got on it and wrestled him until he bled, indra got pissed at us and left. i was in the mood of wanting to be a real life cylon. it wasnt really about the bike but just getting out some aggression toward him that i didnt want to be there so i could enjoy his company again. we wandered around in the night looking for internet cafes with counterstrike to pass the night because we had nowhere to sleep. we found one with regular old internet and an army wear dude sleeping in his chair, he watched avatar as i beat zelda phantom hourglass and found pornos in the store room and drew in the toilet. 

i slept on the floor of the computer cafe and woke up to a young turkish guy saying ed had gone to america and i needed to leave. its pretty cold outside. i kinda wanted to endure it just to feel stuff because bordom and determinism had kind of beaten all my intense emotions, so it was nice to feel something basic like fucking freezing. sat and read the nonexistant knight for a while but the air even made the battle scenes frosty so i came here. met ebon and he told me to swing by the studio after lunch. 

work work

went to hitlers stables the other day, was pretty dark and gloomy and old man hiding under black curtain in the shadows of the attic. i collided with a reversing car while rapping all my favourite songs in a characature aussie accent. went to a zine fair which was dope, and agreed to trade drawings for zines (which im going to make now). met up with the pals. yesterday i really needed to get away for a bit, i think i need some space, its pretty hard being around people in general for months, so i wanna go somewhere before the kids get here so i can enjoy them to their fullest. i met a dude who makes stuff from brooklyn, he invited me somewhere for later.

then we went and ate stuff like spicy stuff. went to a exhibition opening that this guy im staying with but dont know had something to do with in this huge building with all these rooms. i met too many new zealanders there. there was a room with clothes stand hangers on it kind of bare and harsh light so i turned them over, leaned them against eachother and taped them up to look like a guy in a suit and wrote official art on the ground a little bit in front of his feet.

people started coming in and deconstructing it n stuff like not physically. photographer took like 100 photos of me, flash is still burnt into my eyes. i found an illustration book on the way out and went with friends to somewhere on the train, but i ditched them to go adventure because i needed to be in my head.

i went and sat down outside this big building in scaffolding and wrote rhymes, guy came by and said dont leave if yr happy, all the power to ya. then walked out and saw that a dude i worked with at the vcaa in melbourne was playing a show in some club. tried to go round the back and find him, but the brooklyn dude found me instead. he took me into their party, which was in a massive studio with suits of armor on the walls and loud music. when the lady asked me for entrance fee, he said im a very close friend of his (its his studio) and me beers, he told me about the place and how many people work there, he said hed like to get me in there to paint and do like an internship sorta thing so im gonna paint there next week.

up till now

ok, so since hitchhiking weve been in berlin. stuff happened.
slept places.
couple of couchsurfers and a room indra is renting.
one host was a russio german girl, she did performances and went out till 4pm most nights, shes hyper nice. she likes ja!. other one is a guy from california whos really tall and superb dude, big stutter and kinda awkward sometimes but super great.
talked to a guy from portland for hours about basketball, i felt really cosy after that. he suggested painting the wall on the place he worked. the next day i went in and asked after the owner, who turned out to be the bar lady we were joking with. she was like yeah have a show in here and paint stuff, but it better be good because banksys friend is painting the other one. and in my head i was like fuck you, marc pearson could be banksys friend who is he (banksy), i dont know, shut up. so im gonna paint that stuff. but i need somewhere to paint pictures that arent attatched to the wall.

so since then ive been asking people if they know any painters that have a space here, and it seems like berlin is a city full of people that look like they could make stuff but arent actually.

so yesterday we went to paint this girl who lives with the couch host im staying withs studio white. turns out its in hitlers old stables. so we walked in after getting croissants straight outta the oven at 4am, everything was dark or flickering. i had a head lamp i found in my bag. great place. anyway they werent there so we explored a bit in the attic then went back to the couch hosts place. we chilled with his housemates and it turns out theyre from brisbane and they paint and know a bunch of people i know. now im gonna go meet julia

hitchhiking 66%

hey so ok, well. i dont know how to start these, i guess ill describe whats going on in my head right now until i find i nice cosy tangent to take me back to when i last filled you in on whats going on. as i write this i look at haribo golden packet gummy bears, i really would like some. maybe ill buy some.
didnt work. ok ill just force it.

so im in berlin, how did i get here, letting the days go by

we were pretty excited for hitchhiking yeah cool, we wrote a list of stuff to get, like a boombox that we could paint. we got that. now im in berlin.

supposedly hitchhiking in spain is the worst ever in all of the continent, like really, so we thought we'd have trouble so we talked about all the potential amazing lift givers we'd get while walking back to where we went to sleep. on the way back we saw some italian hippie kinda dudes hanging outside a sweet scooby doo van and they were all named domenico. they asked if we wanted to go to france with them the next morning, and like the fresh crevisses waiting to be sodomised that we were, we jumped on the decision.

ran to meet them at segrada familia the next morning, smoked a joint and left barcelona. they were really slow, but pretty entertaining, they had a dog. ok. so we got about 150 km in the whole day, and thought we were in for a years to berlin, stopped at the beach along the way, and ate this awesome bean salad. they're really italian and serious about food. when we got to france they tried really hard to buy hash, the dealer got angry because his prices were bullshit and ed translated "this is fucking france not barcelona" for me. the ringleader loves meat pies. we stayed in their bright orange tent that was meant to be hidden near their vans, but it was bright orange, so we ripped some huge branches off a dead tree and camoflagued it up.


next morning we bought fruit for everyone and left to a petrol station to start thumbing people down. the second person we asked took us about 50 km, he was a really odd 20 year old french guy studying to be a fighter pilot, he didnt really have much to say, he dropped us off at a toll booth or payage or whatever. after a llittle bit and after seeing a another hithchiker defeat himself we got a lift from this van. a dude and girl who only spoke french, (turned out later she spoke sweet english). they were pretty nice, kinda raggedy but in the nice way. we sat in the huge back where my chair kept on breaking with their dog. he gave usbeers and asked if i wanted any ketamine that he had left in his frypan. i graciously declined while he went buck wild, not really. they took us to a beach and some fucked tourist beach suburb along the way where people walk around dressed up taking photos of people for money and the kebabs are called "terribles". got the hell out of there and she dropped us off at another toll booth.

shortly after getting out ed realised he lost his ipod, so that ball'd. we went to kfc and ate away our worries with french radio. decided to go for another try when we shouldn't of hitchhiked too late, i gotta make this smaller, blog post is too long. got a lift from a weird french dude who spoke perfect english and drove 170km/h and darted in between cars. he was a manager from some company and was really clingy to us.

next dude was a black guy that didnt even want to take us and spoke no english. he had an audi and felt obliged to give us a lift. i think he was a drug dealer because he made us wait while he sent like 30 texts back and forth with only numbers in them, and listened to the same french rap song over and over. cleverlyly ed and i slept at the same time in his car till he stopped at a service station and yelled at us to get out in french, then sped away. he didnt really take us where he said he would, but we went quite far with him so we didnt mind too much.

ate some food, and got a lift from another super friendly french african guy who spoke great english and was visiting family in germany. he took us ages, and drank lots of coke to stay awake. he said he'd love to hitchhike but he was scared everyone would be too scared of him to stop and let him in because hes african and muscly, that really sucks. i think its like when i found out i couldnt be an astronaut because ive had acid. we woke up in germany and got some lifts after that which were pretty small, just 50km to the next service station on the autobahn from middle aged ladies, one with kids and the other one with a spiritual teacher.

next dude that picked us was great, he was a youngy from berlin and could take us 150km outside of berlin, he had a cute van and knew heaps about berlins history, we went to the little town which turned out to be like a forgotten city that most people had left, so there were more abondoned apartment buildings than occupied ones. we slept in his tent next to a store called "2004" that wasnt open, and just looked like an old persons apartment without couches or anywhere to sit. the only description it had was the name "2004". the next morning his friend came who went to an art school around there, so she took us up to the studios and we had breakfast. the stuff being made was dope.

next lift was from a gas station there to berlin, from a dude who was in the german army for 7 years drove a tiiiiny new car, and is now a prison guard. we tried talking about everything. then we were in berlin and then 2 days passed and then its now. berlin is a place where anarchists riot over gentrification.
i think hitchhiking is quite similar to canvassing.

sorry

in this post i try to encapsulate the last 3 weeks. shit.
ok well at some point i went to the gracia fiesta, we´re forgetting continuity here because its just not going to be possible. each suburb or inner city suburb has their own week of festivities, so gracia is a lavish place. so the fiestas kinda ridiculous. every street dresses itself up to compete against one another, so they had a dragonball z themed street, a marvel-dc one, lego, and much much more! so anyway, this was after me and ed met up with indra. we met some dude, found out he spoke english and was from new zealand, slept on his balcony which was actually bigger than his whole apartment and woke up the next day ready to break more continuity.

another night indra almost fell off a big fuckoff fountain because a pigeon shat the world out when it flew into her almost fleeing the monument. that night ed and i slept on top of a toilet block in a park. i beat all 16 gyms in pokemon too.

theres been a couple of roller discos. i was staying in my aunt´s studio-office place where the mural is. i´ve been painting this fucking mural for so long, i finished it yesterday, now im allowed to leave barcelona.

ed brought me a new moleskine, ive been drawing, but the paintings eased down to componsate for the mural, plus on the same day i finished the mural i finished a book i was reading. uhh, extremely loud and incredibly close, it was nice but i hate finishing books, especially when im away from home, it gives me more to miss.

im working on a 100 page book of pictures and writing n stuff, thats about 80 pages in, i think ill print it in berlin and send you a copy.

tomorrow we´re hitchhiking to berlin.

i really skipped a lot in the past few weeks, and i barely remember it too, that sucks for both of us. shut up.

ed and i sat on la ramblas the other night, which is the worst and most popular street in spain.
but its completely different at night, all the performers flee except one dude and the sexy beer men get out. its so fucked. we sat there and watched it. people treated us as if we were meant to be there, the pakistani street beer and drug pushers respecting us because we were there first, and the tourists ignoring us. we made friends with these two dudes who were selling hash, and another beer guy. they keep their beer underground in little holes that open up, and the hash selling guy didnt try to sell me anything but shared his joint with me. they all pulled up their shirts and rubbed their exposed bellies when they spoke to people. one guy was shaking a water bottle sideways for an hour. the reason we sat down was to watch a homeless looking dude do his mime act. he wasnt very good, but it seemed like he did it because he had to, and everyone appriciated that. he ran when the cops came and kept coming back even though he had no need to.

talk to ya in berlin

sorry for the shitty short boring posts, and sorry for my parents being the only people to comment.
ive just been distracted by everything thats been going on.
yesterday i did some more on the mural, saw lots of old spanish dudes who gave up on most of the stuff, an tiny old women who rules more than any matador. an tiny.

ed was gonna sleep on the beach so i decided to go with him, we took a train out to a place this potential psychopath he was couchsurfing with recommended, turned out to be the gay capital of spain. shiny people everywhere and stupid dogs that made me mad. bought some sangria and shitty balls of dough, and sat with the flamenco guitarist i saw a while back at the pipe club.

went walking to find a nice beach, they were mainly touristy and infested, got hit by trains n stuff.
found a couch someone threw out and sat on it for ages talking. this german lady who sounded like she was the movie fargo with all her "jas" came and recomended a tiny beach nearby. so we carefully pushed our couch down a cliff face with my mobile in my mouth as a torch. set up on the beach, made a little fire and christened ed's pipe. best fire. broke the back off the couch and slept.

woke up the next day to macho tattoo'd dudes and naked breasts invading our little cove, went for a swim and walked back to the mainland. spoke to some canvassers, seemed pretty sweet and trained on back here after getting heaps of ice cubes and ice cream samples, from angry not honor or sasha or peter looking ice cream servers.

bye

ed got here, did some stuff. walked down la ramblas singing war till i saw him. we brothered for a bit, then tried to go to this outdoor cinema chaplin film with an orchestra or something but he got jetlag all of a sudden and i got tired.

next day did stuff, and the day after that did some more stuff.

such as! met some travelling french music circus, who the day before found a 2 week old golden lab puppy abandoned. i helped them take care of it and got my face licked n stuff.
went to the spanish jam bar place again, where a bunch of old guys were playing blues and jazz and i rapped and sung to it.
walked into some party on the bottom floor of the apartments and taught them that all australian insults are created on the spot and scared off this self proclaimed "seaman" (he kept telling us and emphasising the word seaman) with time travel.
roller disco! eds a star skater, and others

so yesterday i got paint to start a new mural on this giant steel door with heaps of cool yeah to paint on. painted till i ran out of paint, then sat around continuing on my book that im doin. ate big lentil salad thanks guys. borrowed a friends bike card to get to this show opening but tried to stand up on the seat and stacked hard. guy came to see if i was okay and i asked him how to get to the gallery. he didnt know but we established that we were both half somali, so through this newfound commeraderie we went and smoked a joint together.

he joined my little posse of me and him and we found some guys who paint trains to help along the way. they were gonna help me get there but instead they went of and got more high, i left because i wanted to draw. got a shwarma, went back to jems and watched some tobacco videos.

today and yesterday i finished my sketchbook and the book i was reading. thanks elliot. looked everywhere for a sketchbook i wanted but no luck. met a californian squeeky voice jazz cat. posted the stuff to the gallery for the show in melbourne (ps you should go if you want yeah (details below)) started a new little project of silly confessions and doodles on paper that i might make into a book then throw them off a building with little parachutes or fly the pages as paper airplanes or something. went to dinner at this italian couples house that i met at the roller disco, they're view was one of those barcelona postcards and ate super cool food. rearry mundane boring blog post but i just put it up here to remember stuff since i dont have a camera.

oh and the show details

HERE IS NEAR
at Unless Gallery
7 - 11 on August 6th
Corner Albion St
& Melville Rd
Brunswick

roller disco

yesterday was odd starting. walked around, cant remember much of it, but i know i walked. felt my first drawing block since coming here, right when i need to be finishing stuff to send back to melbourne. to take my mind off of it i went to kristophs roller disco. it was fun, i fell fifty times and cant pick things up today but who cares, bueno roller disco

less lazy next day edit. the bibs were there (barcelona international black women?!) and as were the super trans bushy hair skater, and all the other superstar skaters. there was a tv station filming us live too, so i guess i was on spanish tv, probably falling over

so i met up with jem, i drew for a bit while he played some of his stuff for me and stuff he produced. i learned how to play go, which is an ancient game i needa teach everyone so i can get better. yeah. then his friend i forgot her name came around, she recorded some piano stuff while i drew. we went and got shwarma and went to this little hidden upstairs place called barcelona pipa club. (the logo has a pipe in it so im guessing pipa means pipe). by the way pretty much everywhere you can smoke inside.

this dude played amazing flamenco guitar and the middle aged spanish guy from stomp the yard got up and pretended to finish amazing feet percussion like twenty times before he really stopped. in barcelona nobody has sound systems because licenses for loud stuff is ridiculously expensive, so its all either a little amp or acoustic. we then went to a little bar that this old dude with a mustache smoking joints (which they use tailored cigarette filters for roaches) made for the musicians, so everyone played stuff. old people on little wooden blocks and solomon burke sounding bombayians. that was nice, i had some whisky then we went back to jems to record some more. they both played while i spoke and sung and rapped for a bit, it was nice.

i slept.

this morning i got up, gave him a bunch of music and left. sometimes i get overwhelmed by everything you cant do like flying naked and stuff you cant think of so i do things that i shouldn't to take the edge of it. (one of the reasons i do silly things). so today i decided to dress up as suity as i could and go for a swim where everyone is naked. it was super nice, i walked around in the sun for ages to slowly dry. saw this humble african guy incessantly drawing on little wood blocks as if its all he does and drinking on the floor in the street. they were like houses and hammers and stuff, they were really beautiful, super honest. i tried to smile at him but he gave me a cold glance, so i waited till he lightened up a little bit and watched him sitting a meter away, while still dripping wet in my suit.
i got a glimpse of a smile and left, now im writing this. cya!

today

yesterday, got up cant even remember what happened earlier in the day. oh wait went for a walk with miriam, she showed me some of the galleries and a sweet gallery pass offer that im gonna get you guys to get when you get here and get off the get plane. then went to a vivaldi and samba guy classic concert thing in the best building ever known, it was pretty great. they had a amish playing clavichord and an amazing celloist, but the violin soloist was kinda boring, but really really good.

after that wound down, went outside at night for a cig and a draw and met some rasta and friends playing guitar on this big red thing on a little walking street. drew and sung with them for a while until someone from the top floor apartment block next to us threw a bucket of water onto them and they scurried off laughing. met another illustrator dude who drew amazing observations.

today i went to help chloe rearrange her office, its an amazing semi run down building thats really nice inside. they run a tour management business for touring music tours and most of the other rooms are studios occupied by the loveliest people. she said i could paint her door which is this huge amazing, so im looking forward to that. in about 10 minutes jem is gonna pick me up to draw to his music/story so it can help him write lyrics in english, hes super sweet. also he records stuff, and recorded cocorosie ages ago so im gonna get some of their old stuff off of him. yeah!

watch just beeped so time to get off.

p.s. the one thing ive been tempted to splurge lots of money on since i got here is a hand crafted 3 player chess set. (!)

hole argh!

ok so last night i sat around with my greatest uncle and aunt, had an awesome dinner and got told off for smoking, and crusaded against for smoking. which was kind of awesome. had a smoke with cousin's partner and slept after failing to beat the safari zone on pokemon.

spent all the next day drawing and painting in a little cafe, they dont tell you to leave despite being somewhere 1 and 1/2 hours after any purchase. uploaded some new pictures here

http://www.flickr.com/photos/42957317@N05/

que pasa!

had such a super dinner last night, when you guys come here im gonna take you there.

after i saw a 60 year old midge with tattoos all over who was the ringleader of his old tattood man club buying beers and ice tea at the supermarket. then i walked around till i had to sleep so i read for a bit to prolong it.

gringos.

today moved my big pack to my familys place so i can use the little one for couchsurfing, they're the best. they live in an apartment on a lovely street in the city in a place called gothica or e or i or something. sat on the porch and painted stuff ive never been happier with. gonna go stay in a place tomorrow or tonight that has millions of couchsurfers every jiffy.

im really losing things to talk about because im starting to get used to how awes everything is. its like eating pineapple with every meal. i gotta make some kites

hey

last night i wandered around with ayki till sun up getting to know him a bit better. he left marsaille 2 weeks ago so he can be poor and sad in barcelona. we walked around the city talking to drunk travellers and drawing on stuff. buying beers of the pakistani guys who walk around with 6 pack rings selling them for slightly cheaper. went to camp nou today for some reason. probably the worst thing ive done so far so im not gonna talk about it or it'll make me angry.

tapas warrior

today i hauled myself up and caught the subway to the temple of time familia. it was pretty dope. i really wanted to draw on it, but i thought that was my ego talking plus id have people throwing up on me for it so i decided not to.

walked around for about an hour getting lost in the ministreets, thats pretty much what they're made for. shut up. i havent said that in a while, also ive only heard que pasa once, that disturbs me. went and ate an awesome meal at miriam and dougs (really great auntcles). and headed off to the beach. thought id climb a tree and draw so yeah that was nice, had some people come over and start chatting. this french dude whos been squatting in barcelona for the past 2 weeks named ayki. he told me about his graffiti escapades across europe as we shared a joint with some of his friends. one looked twinned martha brown. the beach is chockaz mate full of happy people and nipples.

on the area next to the beach they set up a halfpipe and had a skate demo thing. by the time it started like 6,000 people had shown up to watch tony hawk do 900 degree spins. that was pretty cool. hes a still time machine. walked around doing heelclicks to parking lots and rat vs possum to make up for missing brown paper bags. my auntie or 2nd cousin's partner runs an outdoor roller disco thing each sunday that i might go to now.

mererery go round

i cant figure out if its barcelona, or stuff dad said, or the tire of it thats making me not want to post blogs anymore, so this one in particular is pretty forcibly done. today i prepared more stuff to make a silly kite thats gonna take over everything ever. i want you guys to draw on it but i cant figure out how, whens good virtual reality coming¿?

helped my aunt with photoshop because i kinda wanna do anything i can to give back to those guys since theyŕe helping me so much, they gave me keys to their apartment today. bought a watch, ill probably lose-break-sodomise it. so i found some shitty headphones, makes everything sound tinny and poor, but its kinda fun with ariel pink.
there are so many things i forget to write each time so many, maybe ill list stuff during the day and next entry will live like that. yeah. been drawing heaps, a gallery in melbourne emailed me and asked me if i wanna be in a show there in august, so i might need all the help i can get from you guys to get it done if im all the way ham jam far away. went to a show of some dudes elaboration on alice in wonderland in a big fuckoff city owned gallery. it was dope, i need to remember names.

la ramblas (the main street) is either joyous or depressing i cant really figure out it yet, but either way its really lucid and full of travellers, street peformers and sexy ladies. just got back from sitting in a tree drawing there where im pretty sure one of the people peddling a club or something to young she-travellers opening line was mocking me, he seemed to be doing well with it though. another kid with an afro said he got a euro every time i handed his promotion into the store he was working for, so i went back there once every half hour for a few hours to get him some dough.

ive been having really weird intense dreams that turn lucid lately, i cant really get comfortable in them and sort of avoid falling asleep due to it. (eg. last night i spent days looking for the right cooking dish to throw up into)
i miss you guys, but am having awesome. gave my auntie (not aunt) a huge list of melbourne bands and am really excited to hear what she thinks. met lots of people, none odd enough to mention. saw lots of stuff, and wandered for hours drawing and stuff. drew a picture on a wall and got discerning looks from old women and big smiles from the men. im gonna hop off because people are waiting

booshelona

so ive wandered pretty much everywhere in barcelona almost nah, nowhere near. i have my bearings of the place now, this place is pretty much exactly what melbourne is trying to be and never will. some dudes were singing rap songs about prostitutes and other rap topics on a stage near my hotel, i wanted to rap battle them but their english wasnt as fine tuned as their rap engines. rap. so time warp, my pacer and headphones both broke in denmark and sweden respectively, so ive been trying to get replacement cables since for the headphones. shits fucked cant find them anywhere, needa get them or new ones. sheeeit.

drew an old spaniard with one tooth directly in the middle of his mouth while waiting for my auntie to let me into her place, he was sitting with his cane leaning on him feeding pigeons. saw family and met my 2nd cousins 2nd homes 2nd 1st baby 2nd. they're great, so homely. miriam showed me around, shes my great aunt, shes a really great, great aunt.

met another old spaniard this one was self proclaimed "nuts" who i kind of gave up trying to understand him and just said "si" to most of the stuff he said. when an english speaker came and saved me he told me that id agreed to give this old man a blowjob and he'd been asking me for the last 5 minutes where i wanted to do it. so i rectified the situation and took a photo of him that i said id take care of. now im in the next day, met the first australian ever last night. think im going to make a kite today

and in closer-to-you-than-me related news i think ill be doing an exhibition in melbourne on the 13th of august that you'll have to attend on behalf of me

sleepless sea cattle

had my first exhibition (according to sebastian) in stockholm today.

ate kebab again for lunch, the kebab sultans are gonna miss me grindcore. and went to meet sebastian at his house. turns out i dont have a photographic memory and couldn't find it so i went to a 7/11 (which close at like midnight and have internet) and facebooked him and marc pearson ended up running into him soon after.

we went to his club night to organise stuff and get the bands to soundcheck etc. met some of the dudes from dungen who were playing in another band there that night (who were dope ¨life on earth¨). we drew and painted some pictures and stuck them up around the place. the night was mask themed so i hurredly taped my face up and turned it into a face stronghold fort which i was a huge fan of. danced for ages and for a little bit it felt like being back home, which warmed my throat in the nice way, not the frustrating way. and ended up going back to sebastians house to show and tell drawings and music on the innernets. sebastian and co are the best

walked home with a new pal who looks like joe (not rouse) which took like an hour, by the time i got there it was an hour till i had to leave for my flight to barcelona (4am). dad was really drunk and ranted at me calling me the most dispicable human ever and that im trying to be white and dont give a fuck about my black family because i wrote the word ḧousing commission¨ on my blog without going into detail about why people end up in housing commission, and id probably end up there too if i keep drawing. i shut him off for a while and just hoped that the flight would come sooner so i could get outta that.

went to the airport with a busyman italian cabbie and planed to barcelona via latvia. bitch babe hostess hated me for getting a snickers but man i was hungry.
so turned out the plane people lost our bags and now im in barcelona having to stick with him for longer till we sort out the luggage. this is the first time ive felt that i needed a camera because i dont actually think i could describe how boosh this place is. i still havent slept so i might go have a nana nap now. miss ya guts guys

scandanalien

i had a kebab for brunch.
met a dude from couchsurfing, my virginal site meet up via the site meeting up.
hes an illustrator named sebastian that does lots of posters for shows around stockholm and draws pretty great.
we met outside a station after i pulverised my stockholm subway hymen.
sebastian gave me some of his smoking alternative, a little sack full of strong nicotine that you put under yr top lip and talk poorly with an endearing lisp.
it made my lip numb and was a nice kind of bitter, if my addiction wasn't sadisfied by inhaling thick foggy stuff, id probably take it up instead.

he took me to a really hilly park where we drank beers with a friend of his
the friend has zen patience for dot tone, and both were super nice and somewhat bearded.
we went to a hardcore show of a friend of his, or a guy he knows and isn't sure if he likes or not who has no chin and is odd. it was pretty good, straight edge sort of venue funned out. their girlfriends and another girl and another pal of his joined the lench mob and we walked to a beach with imitation sand pebbles that felt great and turned my feet nordic caucasion and drank some more. talked about music and bro'd out. saw an old guy trying to leap out of the water into a tree in a poor attempt to cover john lock in real life, turns out he more secrets to the universe than lock and rollerbladed with ski sticks and throwing unwanted decrepit shoes into the sky.

turns out he runs a night at a bar, and almost landed mt eerie and wolf parade but ill have to settle for a few guys from dungen who are gonna play tomorrow night there. a bigger place has gotten him a night so im convincing him to get themselves and tobacco to play, (who are both in europe while im here, pretty sure im gonna make detours) anyway tomorrows my last day in stockholm then its spain wayne train.

poose

first stockholm today
ate big in the morning and walked forever looking for headphone cables (since mine broke) but to no avail, so ive been without music for a few tens of hours now.
decided to walk as far as i could with vague intentions to see some galleries oblivious to the fact that galleries being closed on mondays wasn't confined to melbourne. while walking i met a scottish hippie couchsurfer named robert that an amalgamation of material objects would hate. he was nice, threw a ball of a massive cliff as i walked alongside the side of the water.

went to an island full of art unis and a moma, both were closed but these colourful former bouncy castle now stiffened dudes chilling out with massive continuous machines by niki desaint phalle and jean tinguely have been tiring for the last 50 or so years in the middle of the island.
yeah!

so i went and got a beer with this guy and sat in the park and talked to some hipsters, then went and got told by my dad that this blog is shit, its not a travel blog its a travel whinge, and gave it 3/10. i was pretty happy with that.

booked a ticket to spain (thursday) and looking forward to getting out.

nice work spain

yesterday i wanted to teleport from odense to goteburg, but someone told me you needed a little button in the shape of a speech bubble tattood on yr arse to do it. and yeah.
i took the train.
but pretty quick train, if it weren't for the fact that the train wasn't equipped to take passangers. so we all got off and caught various meat combinations of trains from places such as the swedish ballarat.

in the end we all died like 1,200 rappers, and got to the goteburg, sweden. with another somali to pick us up from the train station. riding in a benz to housing commission made me laugh inside.
so another night another somali collective of relatives that all of a sudden lov eme, despite not being able to understqand what i say. i like this jig. sort of, it gets rough not being able to understand what anyone is saying. sorta feels like being a baby again because i get restless and start putting my fist in my mouth and scratching myself. do babies have fingernails?

everyone wants me to get married, and not wear shorts, and clean my socks, and cut my hear, and learn somali, and stay in their country. so to be honest, im glad to be leaving on a bus to stockholm as i type this, NON LINEAR NARRATIVE!
that night the group of small intrusive comic somali children (who were technically uncles and aunts) forced me to buy them candy in return for showing me around their commission, but i could deal with that. i hadn't had candy in a while.
i really want a camera but i wont want one when i get back to australia. and i should really organise couchsurfing stuff.

that night i dreamed about kc giving me a chest that had unfathomly important black caviar looking jell oozing out of it. i lost it and felt really bad, but then shit turned lucid so i flew home with my back and sorted shit out, got stuck on an island like id had this dream before and fought with myself.
apparrently young swedish kids love aleks and the ramps.

and as i end this blog entry i look over my left shoulder to see a beautiful field of endless pine trees that only exist for ikeas easy make furniature. (the more you know!) look away from them to save this document and resume my game of peggle.

gnomes are great presents for our wives (and their mothers)

cya

ok so my cousin's family are islamic, and quite strict in comparison to yours.

my grandma decided to move back into her own flat in another part of the housing buildings, she's a lot more dimentiad than i thought, just because i couldn't understand anything she said. so it turns out she thinks ive been in denmark for the last 11 years, and my dad just rocked up but im not his son, im just someone that comes over to her house all the time for no apparrent reason. now this is juxtapozed with her screaming at her children/grandchildren telling them to get out of her house and reminiscing about jamame (somalia). shes pretty funny, shes like a female bill cosby on islam in somali. whe whe whe we wan whe wanna dog

so because of last night my cousins have to move in with her and be her angels protecting her mind from her brain. turns out its pretty sweet for them, they get space from all the kids, i don't know why you care about this if you're not family. go to hell its my first blog ive had ok

i spent a few hours with my grandma just throwing surreal insults at her and telling her made up stories about the guy who sold me my long socks' early years to get back at her for not speaking a language i understand. she was just getting angry at me for saying stuff she couldn't decipher but deep down its the bane of her l..

we said our goodbyes to the family who in a week of knowing them i am endeared to them as much as any of my family in australia and im going to sweden tomorrow.

australia

so today started with a resumed search for cigarette filters but to no avail. got roped into smoking and watching the discovery channel and talked about jellyfish at the smoking club where i learnt that i can't remember if this happened yesterday or the day before. my older cousin was going to the gym to train so i thought id pop by, rode bikes and rowed for 45 minutes, then spent the rest of the time drawing guys with muscles escaping their body in an attempt to flee while the testosteronians strode around me through the small doorways built for mortals.

so it was my cousins big plan to take me out. we went to the "most happening place in odense" which turned out to be an australian themed club.. with 7 dollar vbs and 2 dollar heineken, tv screens in the corners constantly looping videos of uluru and kangaroos shitting. it said shielas and blokes on the toilet doors and mate written on everyones eyes.

anyway some people are really good at foosball, i mean really good. this one dude did ball handling moves before he set up his own crosses.. he sleeps inside a pole. i lost my older cousin but the younger one was still around. i can't figure out the word to describe the response to the way i dance here. they think im superfluous. anyway i ended up leaving with some lovely danish people, and we talked crap for hours at one of their houses. (the houses here rule, like houses from storybooks).

next day a girl named rie who steals peoples faces and confines them to her sketchbook took me to her house. it was out in a little village sort of thing about 20 minutes bus ride from odense. everything was green with rolling hills and family type dogs everywhere. the sun was hot

gypsweden

woke up didn't choke up, got a cold coffee from a dude with 6 black eyes and tried to book travel. gave up on that, figured out im going to sweden next, land of the weddings. where more somalis await.

still getting shown around the self proclaimed "poorest neighborhood in denmark". I tried to play some more football but I can't see my feet when i'm high i look at the sidewalk in front of me instead, so ended up losing the game for everyone. a guy offered me a gun to go perform a robbery, im not sure if he was serious, either way i challenged his philosophical values, blew his doth and taught him which guardian angels to never look in the mouth. i think im kinda going crazy without any conversations that i struggle to wrap my head around, i miss you guys.

still with my dad, think i'll stay with him till sweden. today he saw a couple of russian guys sitting and drinking outside the place we're staying and told me he had an instinct for professionals and tried to convince me to carry my wallet and passport out of the room.

met a mysterious gypsy that the local pusher told me was a gypsy, then told me how gypsys aren't people, "i'm racist, but i give everyone a chance, everyone. but gypsys aren't anyone, they dont even trust eachother"
coinciding perfectly with the 100 days of solitude gypsys, thanks elliot

i wanna paint something here, the buildings are so nice.

wassup sweden.

familoo

today.. today.. today..

went back over to the cousins house, this must be getting repeatative for you, but they're family. which is really great, probably the strongest sense of family i've felt in quite some years yes. spent the day with my cousins following their routines, they want me to paint a wall in the city and put their nicknames up so they can brag to their friends. saw some dude whos one of the danish political party leaders eating steak watching the soccer semi final with us. he really enjoyed the steak i could see it in his brow.

anyway im probably gonna go to sweden this weekend for some reason, i think more family, then off to amsterdam.

filler

today was a nice one, spent most the day with mohammad. danced at a dude who played soccer for marsaille. directed the barber to high top his fade and went back to his friend's apartment. turned out to be the dealers place or "hashish club" as he called it. smoked a bit and played fifa then played real life fifa. plenty more happened today but i really don't care if anyone knows about it or about you in general sanders, once he rose to the top before he lost his face to buckets of balls and fatty bits. i'd write more but this is sort of an obligatory post, keepin it daily, too daily. i'd add some inside jokes so you know im thinking of you, but if you're reading this, ive probably been thinking of you anyway

mish

housing ha-mission

quality control is gonna kill me, or at least what you see of me for the next few months i.e. this blog. what?

ok so i decided to lie. hopefully this isn't the kind of lie that will surprise my mum with a dead iraqi guy on the couch. today i met my grandma. we caught a train from copenhagen to odense, wasn't that eventful, an old dude gritted his teeth at me and gave me dragonball z eyebrows for checking his daughter out, totes worth it. space jump.

got a lift from the station from some somali dude that turned out to be my uncle, went in yadda yadda (they live in housing commission thats like a suburb village in itself and everyone knows everyone), met everyone. now the cool thing about their place is the complexity of language barriers. some speak only only somali, some only danish (im the only only english), and some a mixture of all three or all three. im too tired to be doing this post, but i feel if i wait till tomorrow ill forget everything ever. just like my grandma. turns out she has dimentia (and is like an elderly female somali jabba the hut, in the most endearing cute way), which is pretty funny for me because i don't understand a word she says and just hear my dad burst out laughing when shes mid sentence, then hear a translation that the other abdi (my other dad?) used to scare away militia because of his reputation and large horns.

anyway we ate somali style, with our spiney spider limbs. seperate from the women. the house has two older .... ACTUALLY -- EMERGENCY CHARACTER BREAKDOWN --

ma'mood - cousin, hes like the town hero 17 year old soccer star thats gonna do medi-physi-neering at every college. and is like 6'6 and from movies

nimmo - my dads sis, big smiling

ali- mystery uncle, nimmo's husband, nice guy

mohammad- 2nd oldest cousin, seems chill, is a bit like some of you back in melbourne, super friendly and accomidating

little bouncy somali kid - youngest cousin there, hes amazing, he doesn't stop running around and slapping people, telling them hes gonna sleep for 5 days then go back to their homes... little janny incarnate, only speaks danish

two other sub-10 y/o daughters- too shy to know so far, only speak danish and a bit of somali, poked them in the face and "bargh"'d a few times because i thought they'd like it ....

older cousin- quiet girl wears lots of makeup, pretty modest. probably the prettiest somali i've met, seems to sorta get shunned by parents but maybe its just like that because shes the oldest, i wanna see her smile more

asha- blobby grandmother, both physically and mentally, is/seems to be hilarious i can't quite tell because i don't know what shes saying. she could be the next rosa, goin back in time

but they're all great, these are just first impressions

so mahmood took me to play soccer for money against these dudes who were the "drug guys". he plays with them because they have beards so it looks like hes inferior huh? there was a really angry guy with grey tracksuit pants, what was his deal?
and a chubby danish guy (everyone here is pretty much african) who called everyone "bitch"
i played goalie, we won soccer. bought the strangest icy pole ever.
anyway there were lots of other people but they're for my memory and not yrs.

bye

christania and family feud

if copenhagen is will ma manor, christania is an amalgamation of the shed, ceres and other rewarding activities. today i got up and searched for somewhere thrifty to eat, scrounged up a bagel and a coffee for the price of 40 big boss musk sticks. ace zen fuhrer.

next find is a little danish american jamaican barista, and a big black guy named johnny who drew 4 maps for me, one just a slightly enlarged version of the previous. kinda like pokemon. they kept buying me fruit salad so i kept on drawing and painting until the gallery opened. checked out a show of the copenhagen fine arts final years, then followed the various maps made by johnny. after the danish american jamaican barista told me all she knew about julia gillard and how rough lyf is in jamaica i....

took my first metro to christania, a little inner-city commune full of joints, beer and dogs. for those of you who aren't familiar its an anarchist community that was formerly a military barracks that hippies and squatters took over that now runs slightly outside of copenhagen laws. so i bought some weed on the main drag (pusher st) and had a smoke and draw with some dudes playing backgammon with their dogs/dawgs and taught them and their dogs about doseone. i ran into them a little later to find myself freestyling with them on a corner to bad beatboxing.

i was pretty high right now and somehow roped myself into helping a dude deal with his paranoia about missing some boat, its like he was trying to act paranoid and doing it really well or something. anyway i think i just walked off when i found someone else to help him because i really wasn't much good to him, nor his family. caught some more metros and did other stuff the end.

the street performers in copenhagen rule, but i wont say anymore because i dont have a camera.

i'm meant to be going to meet my grandma in some far away city tomorrow but my dad (who i organised to travel with for the first 2 weeks) got angry because i refused to lie to her about being islamic. long story short, if i tell her im not muslim, her jade monkey will break and she'll never find the dragonballs again to wish it back. but she can't wish anyway because she can't reason. so if i dont lie to her she will die. so my dads refusing to take me there and will tell her that i refused to go. so probably cutting quite short on those 2 weeks. any tips on where to go next?

first attempt

so yeah, im in copenhagen, denmark. how did i get here? letting the days go by on the qatar holy flight. flight from melbourne to qatar was long, long enough for me to fall asleep and spill the person behind me's food with my chair, fix the situation, then instigate another one.

once i got off the flight i somehow ended up in a qatar smoking room. i didn't need to smoke to break my lungs and get a hit but i did anyway and also had this cute old japanese lady admiring my hair like it was the first time she saw and felt the moon. that was pretty fun. the qatar toilet i shat in was super clean except for two thumbnail sized chunks of human fecal matter on the floor next to my feet.

anyway i was done with that place, so i decided to get on a plane and fly to copenhagen and do something.
so i got into copenhagen at about 4pm, enough time to settle in, grab a beer and catch the end of the soccer. ordering was really hard, its like they purposely avoided dealing with my accent before they even heard me talk. and you could only seem to order 2 pints at once, but it was okay because it was like less than 8 bucks for both (i hope).

so i decided to go for a walk in hopes of finding some people who like drawing or anything for that matter. walked around some huge lake, you dont really care where i walked. there are no skyscrapers here, its just a big city without long rectangular buildings. eventually i ran out of cigarette filters, and started a quest to find some, but fuck man. they have papers and tobacco, but filters are nowhere to be found. i went into various 7/11s with the clerk saying another certain 7/11 has a reputation for having filters. turns out they just had those little roach books for joints.

so today, my last day in copenhagen, im going to find some filters, hire a bike, and find someone to doodle with.